I found some really big parsnips at my local natural foods store, so I decided now is the time to play with this long root vegetable. I saw a recipe for baked parsnip fries and this huge specimen was going to be perfect for experimentation!
I took off the skin with my peeler and started to chop it up into wedges. It was firmer than what I had expected and a little woody. Shoot..did I buy an old parsnip?
I popped a piece in my mouth and my eyes started to water and my nose started to burn. I couldn’t breathe. Air! (Gasp) Air! Oh HELL, this isn’t a parsnip!
Like a brainiac, I realized I had just put a huge piece of raw horseradish and my mouth and it detonated. After drinking lots of water and praying that none of my brain slid out of my ears, I put the demon impostor back in the refrigerator. It hurt me and I was mad at it.
Now by looking at the pictures above you’re thinking I’m a dumbass. Yes, this is true, however, the horseradish I bought had the top cut-off and it was very elongated and smooth like a parsnip.
Parsnips should never have their rounded tops cut off, so that should have been the tip-off . I’m certain that this is some sort of produce clerk practical joke.
Today I have made peace with the oddball root vegetable and decided to do something with it.
I put all the chunks in a food processor and added about 3 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar, 1 tablespoon of sugar and a healthy pinch of herb salt.
I pulsed and pureed away until it was obliterated. No one needs this much horseradish. No one. I dumped the horseradish mixture in a big jar and reserved about 3 large tablespoons off it to the side.

Ingredients
- 1 1/2 cups cider vinegar
- 3/4 cup dry mustard
- 1/4 cup yellow mustard seeds (if you have them - they give it a nice chunky texture)
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 3 tablespoons prepared white horseradish, drained
- 1 teaspoons herb salt
- 2 tablespoons packed light-brown sugar
Instructions
- Blend in a food processor until smooth and put in jars.

Husband approves of the mustard and just had a sandwich covered in it. I tasted it, but am still having PTSD from the first bout of horseradish.
Jar this up and share with all of your congested friends. Stay tuned for the Baked Parsnip recipe. I’m bound to get this right eventually.