So, picture this: I’m at the store brimming with excitement over these giant parsnips at the natural food store. Time to unleash my inner fry-making genius, right? I grab a whopper of a root, feeling like a culinary Christopher Columbus about to discover… baked parsnip nirvana!
Peel in hand, I start chopping this bad boy into wedges. Hold on, this thing is tougher than my grandma’s winter boots! Did I accidentally snag a fossilized parsnip? Just to be sure, I pop a piece in my mouth. Instant Regret City: Population – Me. Eyes watering, nose on fire, I’m gasping for air like a fish outta water. Turns out, this wasn’t a parsnip at all! No, folks, I’d shoved a giant hunk of raw horseradish in my mouth. Like a complete and utter genius (see: sarcasm font), I realized I’d just been pranked by a root vegetable.
Now, by looking at this picture, you’re probably thinking “Wow, she really went full turnip on this one.” (Note to self: Parsnips have tops. Horseradish? Not so much.) I blame the produce department for this whole debacle. Clearly, it was a mastermind prank by a rogue clerk with a vendetta against parsnip enthusiasts.
Anyway, after a gallon of water and a silent prayer for my sanity, I decided to make peace with the fiery root. Into the food processor it went, along with enough apple cider vinegar to wake the dead and a sprinkle of “why-me” herb salt. I pureed that sucker into oblivion. Seriously, nobody needs this much horseradish. Nobody.
So, here I am, with a vat of nuclear-strength horseradish and a dream of baked parsnip fries that will forever remain just that – a dream. But hey, at least my husband loves both mustard and the spicy stuff. Time to unleash the fury of the Spicy Horseradish Mustard recipe!
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 cups cider vinegar
- 3/4 cup dry mustard
- 1/4 cup yellow mustard seeds (if you have them - they give it a nice chunky texture)
- 4 cloves garlic, minced
- 3 tablespoons prepared white horseradish, drained
- 1 teaspoons herb salt
- 2 tablespoons packed light-brown sugar
Instructions
- Blend in a food processor until smooth and put in jars.
Husband approves of the mustard and just had a sandwich covered in it. I tasted it, but am still having PTSD from the first bout of horseradish.
Jar this up and share with all of your congested friends. Stay tuned for the Baked Parsnip recipe. I’m bound to get this right eventually.
